BecomeAnIllegal.com

For those that follow this kind of stuff. Here is an interview with an Attorney General bent on arresting police officers that try to catch illegal aliens.

Courtesy of PatGray.com

• $2.2 Billion dollars a year is spent on food assistance programs such
  as food stamps, WIC, and free school lunches for illegal aliens. cis.org
• $2.5 Billion dollars a year is spent on Medicaid for illegal aliens. cis.org
• $12 Billion dollars a year is spent on primary and secondary school
  education for children here illegally. Lou Dobbs Transcript
• $17 Billion dollars a year is spent for education for the
  American-born children of illegal aliens, known as anchor babies. Lou Dobbs Transcript
• $90 Billion Dollars a year is spent on illegal aliens for Welfare &
  social services by the American taxpayers. Lou Dobbs Transcript

And that is just what we allow our government to give away. Now, with private industry getting in the game, the sky is the limit!!!!

So, act now to secure your place in line. And, don’t forget to vote Democrat to keep those dollars flowing from those silly tax payers!!!

Many have emailed me with concerns about the ability to get credit after becoming an illegal alien.

Not to worry, Bank of America (and others) to the rescue. They are now targeting illegal aliens with special credit cards and mortgages.

Why? you may ask. Well, according to the pundits, it is because we are such a growing segment of the market. Could it be because of all the wonderful perks? I say yes, and with american corporations like Bank of America stepping up to compete with the governement on providing these perks, I can only see the number of illegals in this country growing and growing.

We here at BecomeAnIllegal.com would like to apologize for the extended absence. But if you think it is hard to get back to the U.S. illegally from the southern border after an extended Christmas vacation with the family, imagine what it is like for those of us speaking Klingon!

Anyway, I’m working on a couple posts and should be back in the swing of things very shortly.

I just got this in an email. I don’t know who I should be crediting, but I couldn’t pass this one up.

The keys have been handed over to one of the Texas Border Sheriffs!

The following press release was just sent to me by email:

BORDER SHERIFFS GET
EYES IN THE SKY

Keys to surveillance plane turned over to border law enforcement

HOUSTON – This morning, Senator-Elect Dan Patrick joined local businessman Edd Hendee and local community leaders to hand over the keys to an airplane that will be used on the border to combat criminal activity. The aircraft, a specially equipped Maul MXT-7-180, was purchased under the direction of the Eyes on the Border Foundation (www.eyesontheborder.com). The Foundation was founded by Mr. Hendee and is primarily funded through donations from Mr. Hendee, Senator-Elect Patrick and other interested citizens.

“This new crime fighting tool will allow local law enforcement the ability to monitor activity from the air and direct ground operations to apprehend criminals,” Senator-Elect Patrick remarked.

Sheriff Arvin West of Hudspeth County and Sheriff Oscar Carillo of Culberson County were on hand to receive the keys to the aircraft. Following a brief press announcement, the plane departed for the border with the Eyes on the Border Foundation’s Chief Pilot Sam Lopez and Senator-Elect Dan Patrick on board.

Upon arrival on the border later this afternoon, Mr. Lopez will begin training local pilots and sheriff deputies to spot criminal activity from the air and to direct ground assets to capture law evaders.

The Eyes on the Border Foundation has donated this “seed aircraft” to the Sheriffs in Hudspeth and Culberson Counties for an unspecified period of time. If local law enforcement wants to continue using the aircraft after the trial period ends, they will have the opportunity to purchase the aircraft and take over full operations. This will allow the Foundation to purchase another aircraft for use in other counties on the border.

The purpose is to have a Sheriff’s Air Force along the border. This can be accomplished with no additional burden to the local tax base. For example, in Hudspeth County, Sheriff Arvin West does not receive tax money for the purchase and operation of their patrol vehicle fleet. Their police patrol cars are purchased and maintained through the sale of seized drug assets. It is believed if local asset seizures increase by just 5% in Hudspeth County they will have the funds to purchase and operate their own aerial surveillance aircraft. An easily achieved goal with the addition of the Eyes on the Border’s aircraft on patrol.

“This is a perfect example of a private - public partnership. Unfortunately, it is us, the private citizens, who feel forced to do the job that is the responsibility of the Federal Government,” Senator-Elect Patrick remarked.

For more information, you can click here.

Do you want free healthcare? Are you tired of paying for car insurance? Do you hate standing in line every few years to renew your drivers license?

Then you need to become an Illegal Alien.

You have come to the right place. Here we will instruct you in the ways of becoming an Illegal Alien and reaping all the benefits.

No, you do not need to go across the border and sneak back in. And you don’t need to steal or forge a social security card.

First, learn a new language. We here at BecomeAnIllegal.com recommend one of the following:

• Pig Latin
• Klingon
• Gaelic

Next, only speak that language and insist that all government documents be translated for you and interpreters be provided for you.

Finally, reap the benefits!

Next time you get a cold…

• Call for an ambulance
• Only speak your new language when at the hospital
• Get your medical care
• Leave

That is it. Don’t pay. You don’t need proof of identification or insurance.

When you get home and are feeling better, rip up your drivers license and auto insurance card. Who needs it?

Enroll your children in a state college in another state and insist on “In State” tuition. And if you are feeling really lucky, insist on a full scholarship.

BecomeAnIllegal.com prefers our illegal immigrants to remain law abiding non-citizens (other than the initial crime of breaking into our country, shirking financial responsibility to health care providers, driving without a license, driving without insurance, etc…). So we won’t mention that if you want to make a little extra money, our understanding is that the “Border Patrol” has been instructed not to detain any illegal aliens crossing the border with 500 Pounds or less of pot.

Updated periodically to keep on the front page

Just to make it clear… According to Merriam-Webster…

Satire:
1 : a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn
2 : trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly

Updated periodically to keep on the front page

Xerox has put together an awesome program this Christmas Season:

• Click the graphic above
• Pick out the card you like best
• Write a personalized note
• Click “OK”

An American soldier in harm’s way will get the card you selected, all thanks to Xerox.

Hat Tip - Redstate

Thanksgiving is a couple days away and I thought I should enumerate some of the things that U.S. Citizens that want to become Illegal Aliens can be thankful for:

• Free Health Care
• Wide Open Borders
• Democrats Elected
• Sanctuary Cities

– End Satire –

In all seriousness. Here are the things I am thankful for:

• God
• Family & Friends
• The great soldiers that protect this Country
• Patriots here at home fighting to close the border (through peaceful and legal means)
• Freedom

Thanks to the Freedom we have in this Great Republic, we can continue to work hard and start electing true conservatives that will close the border.

Have a Great and Safe Thanksgiving.

A local radio show just announced a new project this morning to help alleviate the pressure on the border:

Eyes On The Border

This idea just might work. The plan goes something like this:

• Purchase a plane (through donations)
• They already have a contract for a perfect plane with glass bottom for surveillance
• Give it to a border sheriff (with agreement that they will buy it in 90 days)
• Sheriff uses it to catch more drug smugglers
• They estimate that they currently get only 10% of drug traffic (200,000 pounds of drugs last year in one county)
• Sheriff sells seized vehicles
• Sheriff uses that money to buy the plane
• Repeat all along the border

Please consider donating what you can to this worthy cause. I am hereby pledging 10% of BecomeAnIllegal.com T-Shirt / Advertising sales to this cause.

**This was a production of The Coalition Against Illegal Immigration (CAII). If you would like to participate, please go to the above link to learn more. Afterwards, email the coalition and let me know at what level you would like to participate.

Today is the 231st birthday of the US Marines. Be sure to say thank you to a Marine today.

In fact, every day you should thank anyone that has been or is in the service of our country.

Thanks, Marines!  Semper Fi!

As I drove home from work today, I noticed a business with a sign out front saying “Democrats Win. The American Working Taxpayers Lose!”.

A few months ago, I would have felt the same way; however, now that I am a Klingon speaking Illegal Alien, I feel different. I was tired of being a tax paying, drivers license carrying, auto insurance and health care paying citizen watching all my hard earned tax dollars go to those that do little or nothing to earn it!

In the old days when waves of immigration came through Ellis Island, those that came here were required to submit to screening for disease, have enough money to get by and sign an agreement not to take advantage of any social assistance for two years! And yet, people flocked to this wonderful country to take their shot at the American Dream! Then, once here, they melted into this great experimental melting pot. And it worked! The nation became stronger as a result of immigration within a sound immigration policy!

However, today is a different story. We don’t require any of those things, in fact, we don’t even require you go through the legal channels to get here! I just wanted our existing laws to be followed and felt that would stem the tide of illegal aliens pouring into this nation.

But, it is too late. We have a President that wants to grant 20 Million illegals amnesty (no matter what they are calling it this week) for no other reason than a lack of courage to do the right thing! And now, we have a liberal democrat run congress that will go right along with his weak immigration plan.

So, now, more than ever, I want to be an Illegal Alien. I am tired of being the sucker!

What do you think?

The Democrats have taken power of the legislature! We can now expect more benefits like free health care for illegal aliens.

We no longer have to worry about:

• having to show I.D. when trying to vote
• a crack down at the border
• having to speak English
• winning in Iraq
• winning the War on Terror

We can now expect:

• amnesty
• higher taxes
• and much, much more

Now, not only are companies not going to get punished for hiring illegals, they will more than likely be forced to pay us more!

Many may wonder what an article on elections would be doing on this site. However, it is well known that as an illegal alien, Democrats want your vote*. So, we here at BecomeAnIllegal.com have decided to voice our opinion on tomorrow’s elections.

If you have decided to become an illegal alien (or are already one), in order to continue receiving the milk and honey from federal, state and local governments, you must vote for liberals. Liberal Democrats like Chris Bell running for governor of Texas have been very consistent by voting against securing our borders and voting for providing free services and ‘citizen like’ privileges to illegal aliens.

However, if you are still a tax paying citizen of the United States and want to prevent those of us that have become illegal aliens from continuing to get all these wonderful free services, you must vote conservative. And even though it can be argued that the Republican party is not the conservative party of the past, no one can argue that the Democrats are conservative. Therefore, it is your responsibility to prevent the Democrats from winning tomorrow and then replace any non conservative Republicans in the next primary. Remember, RINO (Republican In Name Only) Season is in the spring, not the fall.

Either way, here are some tools to help you with your decision**:

• On the Issues (has annoying pop-ups, but tons of information)
• Better Immigration

Hat Tips:

*Wizbang Blog
**The Uncooperative Blogger

As a service to U.S. citizens wanting to become illegal aliens, we thought we should provide a list of cities in which you will be fully cradled in the loving arms of the local government. The following cities are all “Sanctuary Cities”.

• Baltimore, MD
• Boston, MA
• Detroit, MI
• Durham, NC
• Houston, TX
• Los Angeles, CA
• Madison, WI
• New York City, NY
• San Diego, CA (?)
• San Francisco, CA
• Washington, D.C.

A city designated as a “Sanctuary City” means that the local government forbids law enforcement to question your immigration status.

Also, the following states have similar policies:

• Alaska
• Maine
• Oregon

There are at least 50 cities with some variation of “Sanctuary” policy. If you know of any other cities, please let us know so that this list can be as complete as possible. Those of us wanting to become illegal aliens want to be sure to get the most bang for no bucks.